what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
