I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
