grandma shit on top of the toilet
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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