your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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