she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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