Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
