She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
