yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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