so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
