420 ftw
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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