whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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