winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize