I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
