dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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