In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
