im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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