Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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