hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
