ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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