he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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