He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
