A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
too bad you live with your parents still
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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