okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
