Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
