This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
