Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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