You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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