im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.