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Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Boobs are out for the taking
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