Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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