the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
