I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
