I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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