It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Let's paint friendship bongs
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
