I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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