I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
