I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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