but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
