I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
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There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
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My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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