Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
