i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
