I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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