I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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