jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
