is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
