She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.