Quick, to the slutcave!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT