So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.