I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
