I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
