i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
