I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
