Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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