Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It's never too late to be topless.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We left the knife in your bed.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
