she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He did a backflip because drugs
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