honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
