He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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