I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
