after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
ok first of all what the fuck
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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